The emotions of researching emotionally difficult topics are often over-looked in academic discourse. Yet, the emotionally engaged researcher bears witness of the pain, suffering, humiliation, and indignity of others over and over again – Campbell, 2002, p.150.
Social researchers increasingly undertake research on topics that are sensitive and all too often neglect to discuss their emotional experiences of doing research (Dunbar, Rodriquez, & Parker, 2002). Campbell (2002) argues that this is mainly due to their fears of being accused of having ‘bias’ but this has begun to change as more qualitative researchers have started to write about their subjective experiences and how they are affected by the field relationships in their fieldwork.
My Masters research aims to explore women’s narratives of the interpersonal circumstances under which drinking during pregnancy takes place. To gather data, my research partner and I conducted narrative interviews with women who drank during their pregnancies where they told us their stories about the journey of their pregnancies. For the majority of the participants, it was the first time they have told their stories and it was the first time that I heard their stories yet, they shared so much about drinking alcohol during their pregnancies and their lives in general and this is something I did not expect. Their narratives started off with how they found out they were pregnant and the various emotions associated with doing so such as disappointment, shock, fear, and panic. These emotions were not in isolation from issues such as a lack of partner support, the denial of the pregnancy by the partner and their unfaithfulness, poverty, unemployment, HIV and AIDS, rape, including intimate partner violence which often resulted in or led to drinking during the pregnancy.
At the end of each of the narrative interviews we conducted with the women, I recall how I told each of them how appreciative I am of their time and story. In a couple of the interviews, I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. My voice started to do that thing it does when you know you are about to cry and I tried by all means to ensure that the tears did not come out of my eyes but, I think the participants had noticed my tear covered eyes and the choked up voice. I thought to myself “I’m supposed to be the cool, calm, and objective one, not the soppy cry-ey one”. The question I have grappled with after these interviews is: Are researcher’s supposed to cry?
Here’s what I have learnt through conducting qualitative research particularly collecting data through narrative interviews:
While many research texts and articles briefly address not-uncommon encounters of qualitative researchers with sensitive topics, most authors only discuss the actual ethics involved – obtaining informed consent, promising confidentiality, and providing follow-up therapeutic intervention (Liamputtong, 2007; Shaw, 2008). However, when qualitative researchers delve into the private worlds and experiences of participants which sometimes evoke strong emotional responses and sometimes pursue thoughts that might otherwise not be revealed, consideration of the common ethical issues may not be enough (Liamputtong, 2007).
Qualitative interviewing involves entering the life-world of participants and as such, research interviewing can be emotionally distressing (Elmir, Schmied, Jackson, & Wilkes, 2011; Vingerhoets & Bylsma, 2016). I suspect most people don’t tell their supervisors or colleagues that they may have cried or choked up because of embarrassment or shame. There are important ethical and supervisory mechanisms that need to be in place when researching sensitive topics (McCosker, Barnard, & Gerber, 2001; Vingerhoets & Bylsma, 2016). Students, supervisors, and researchers should not fear crying or tearing up in the research interview. We are not supposed to be objective data collecting machines. We hold back discussion of this issue, as much as we try to hold back the tears: trying to be “big” researchers. The possibility of crying in this context needs to become part of the discussion around “managing interviewer risk”, beyond the advice of “whatever you do, don’t cry”.
So, if the toe wigging and tongue biting are not working and you find yourself tearing up during an interview, it is important not to be hard on yourself. While you may think your “research participant” might find it odd, or you find it embarrassing, it is often viewed in a positive light by the person that you are with (Melville & Hincks, 2016; Vingerhoets & Bylsma, 2016). Interviewer crying reminds and confirms for us, and the people that we are interviewing, that what they have endured was a traumatic and emotional experience. It’s not just data, it’s their full and emotional life and like my supervisor said to me after I told her that I cried after a couple of the interviews, as researchers, we are human too.
References
Campbell, R. (2002). Emotionally Involved: The Impact of Researching Rape. New York: Routledge.
Dunbar, C., Rodriquez, D., & Parker, L. (2002). Race, subjectivity, and the interview process. In J.F. Gubrium & J.A. Holstein (Eds.), Handbook of Interview Research (pp.279-298). Thousand Oaks, CA; Sage Publications.
Elmir, R., Schmied, V., Jackson, D., & Wilkes, L. (2011). Interviewing people about potentially sensitive topics. Nurse Researcher, 19(1), 12-16.
Liamputtong, P. (2007). The sensitive and vulnerable researcher. In P. Liamputtong (Ed.), Researching the Vulnerable (pp. 71-93). London: Sage Publications.
Melville, A., & Hincks, D. (2016). Conducting Sensitive Interviews: A Review of Reflections. Law and Method, 10(5), 1-9.
Shaw, I. (2008). Ethics and practice in qualitative research. Qualitative Social Work, 7(4), 400-414. doi: 10.1177/1473325008097137.
Vingerhoets, J.J.M., & Bylsma, L.M. (2016). The Riddle of Human Emotional Crying: A Challenge for Emotion Researchers. Emotion Review, 8(3), 207-217.